Category Archives: glory days

On Worry…

This is a segment of the Asmi Yoga newsletter. Dolly Stavros is one of my favorite yoga teachers, and always has some nuggets. This segment resonates with me (worry wart!), and felt it should be documented if for no other benefit than my own personal record. It’s written in the context of worry and the autumnal equinox (sept).

“Witness the quality of your thoughts. Will the thought-seeds you plant grow weeds or beautiful blossoms? Ritualize this equinox (time of new beginnings), by channeling your energy into that which will manifest your dreams and desires, not your doubts and dreads. Be grateful. Watch with childlike wonder as the wind blows the leaves of your life into whirls of chaos, knowing that you can rake them up later! Refuse to be unfazed by life’s storms. Life fully. Breathe deeply. Celebrate joyously this gift of life, even if it’s not perfect. Because in its imperfection, it is perfect!”

mama’s got a new pair of shoes

i ran for the first time in a long time last night.  for me, a long time = 2-3 years.  the sibling rivalry classic challenge is definitely going to motivate me in terms of cardio.  i’m typically motivated to workout, but cardio has always been a challenge.  it’s a total workout, really, and i know it’s tough for most.

however, last night was one of the first times that i actually enjoyed running.  was it my new (properly fitted) running shoes?  that certainly helped.  i think it was more of a mental thing though.  and i think that’s a result of my yoga practice.  i simply connected to the breathe and body like i do in yoga, and the time actually flew by.  i ran for only about 30 minutes so as not to kill myself on my first day back.  but it was great!  and i’m not hurting too badly today.   i figured if i can hold some of the postures in yoga for 5 breathes, i can run a couple of miles.  it certainly works lol.

i think i’ll run again on thursday. 🙂

sibling rivalry classic

the brothers and i have decided to embark on a first quarter fitness competition.  should make the first quarter more interesting.

Sibling Rivalry Classic

Goal: To get an otherwise out of shape group of Kendall siblings into a virile, vibrant, and vivacious state of health.

To win: Winner must win two of the three criteria specified below.  Losers will pay $100 each to the winner.  No second place.  In the case of a three way tie (ie, all three win one of the three criteria), a run-off will be held in which all three criteria will be measured, executed in sequence.  An unnamed third party will measure the execution of the criteria and provide the final ruling.

Begin date: 1/1/2009 12:00AM (tonight @ midnight)
Target date: 3/31/09 with criteria measurement on 4/4/09 (weekend)

Success criteria:

  1) Fastest one mile run
      – Run will be recorded on a treadmill for equal comparison
      – Second mile of a run; this will allow a 1 mile warm up at any speed and avoid any of us hurting ourselves
  2) Push-ups
      – Two criteria: 1) Number of push ups in 1 minute and 2) Number of push ups to exhaustion
      – Criteria #1 will be measured on 4/4
      – Criteria #2 measured on 4/5
  3) Crunches
      – Crunches will be measured based on number of crunches performed in 2 minutes


  – No performance enhancing substances (Creatine, etc.)
  – No trainers, paid or otherwise
  – Vitamins are allowed and in fact encouraged
  – Don’t hurt yourself; this isn’t meant to push limits, only to test our respective abilities in physical fitness

morning adventure

enjoying the outdoors
this morning when i got done getting ready, brain was indicating that she wanted to go outside (figured it was to poop). so i let her out, and she bolts to the corner of the yard where the trees are. she seems to be chasing something, but i can’t tell what she’s after…until i see one of the bunnies has found it’s way into the back yard. so brain chases the rabbit around the trees for a bit, and the rabbit is furiously trying to find a way out of the fence (he keeps running into the fence hoping to get under or through it).

after a couple of laps around the trees, brain finally catches the rabbit! the bunny goes limp, and brain carries it around the yard proudly. i call for her to bring it to me, but of course she doesn’t listen. i go down into the yard, and make brain sit and drop (she did NOT want to give that rabbit up!). i finally get the rabbit out of her mouth, and allow the bunny to go free.

i sent brain inside because the rabbit STILL couldn’t get out of the fence. it actually got itself stuck trying to squeeze itself through the wiring. i had to help it squeeze it’s hind legs through the wiring to get it out lol.

it was quite an adventure, and i know brain was disappointed that i made her give up her catch (she kept obsessing about going outside when i brought her in). it was really funny watching her walked around with the rabbit in her mouth. wish i had gotten a pic of it.

today i…

…took brain for a car ride to run errands.

…changed my oil.

…rotated my tires.

…changed my spark plugs.

…ran brain around while i rode my bike (she got the hang of it after a couple of times up and down our street).

…enjoyed the cool breeze.

…basked in the sunshine.

…bought my boyfriend & roommate lunch.

…ate lunch out on the deck.

…watched golfers go by.

…cleaned out some branches (prepping for our fence…hopefully, i did enough).

…threw away some dead plants (oops! they don’t all make it at my house…some of them were annuals anyway).

…slept in.

…played on the internet.

…tried to get ahold of my friend, ben. what?!

…played on facebook.

…played on flickr.

…watched tv.

…ate unhealthy food (taco bell & bojangles…YUM!).

…hung pictures in the rest of the house (it only took us 3 yrs lol).

i’m just really enjoying today. it’s awesome outside, and i think i might trip back out there to see what other fun stuff i can find to do. 🙂

dog vs. kids

after being on vacation all last week, it was great to come home to our puppy, brain. while we missed her, we were glad to get away and not have to manage the dog all the time. being a puppy, she still requires a good bit of training and supervision (she’s very nosy).

we were back no more than 2 or 3 days before we had to take her to the vet to get her fixed. it’s the first overnight visit to the vet of her life, and she didn’t seem to miss a beat. when i left her at the vet, she didn’t even notice i wasn’t going with her. lol @ the silly dog.

that evening, i was constantly hearing her around the house…getting her nose into stuff, whining, scratching, drinking, whatever. it was all completely in my head. and i found that i missed having her around the house. not having her on vacation was different. not having her around the house was flat out strange. i was constantly looking under my feet while sitting on the couch. i waited for her to follow me into the kitchen whenever i got up. i fully expected her to bring me one (or all) of her toys, begging me to play with her.

i felt completely ridiculous. i am so used to her presence in the house that i merely expect it now. this longing to “have my baby around” was foreign, but fairly strong considering “it’s just a dog.”

i started wondering if this is what parents go through when their children leave for a period (or forever!). i never thought owning a dog would relate so much to being a parent. while it’s not the same at all, there are definitely some similarities (training, supervision, exercise, discipline, affection, etc.). and brain has a way of making me fully aware that i’m not ready to be a parent at all! 🙂 i feel like i got a glimpse of a taste of a glimmer (e.g. pretty small sampling) of what it’s like to be a parent.

the wandering mind

underneath the yoga mat
i made a small discovery while meditating last night at the beginning of my kung fu (tai chi, etc.) class.  most discoveries in my practices (kung fu, yoga, etc.) are small, but every little bit adds up.

so yesterday’s discovery was the realization that one shouldn’t fight the monkey mind, but embrace it–love it, even.  so often in the mindful practices, teachers try to explain to let your thoughts go.  i have never fully grasped what they were saying until last night.  when i first started meditating, i tried and tried to quiet my mind.  the more i tried, the more monkeying my mind did.  what i didn’t get was the letting go part.

the best way i can describe it is this.  do not fight the monkey mind.  when random thoughts enter your mind, acknowledge them.  then let it go.  if you practice and practice this, eventually, it will click.  one of the things that helps, though, is loving those random thoughts and your mind.  you cannot be down on yourself or your mind for having so many thoughts.  it’s a wonderful thing to be able to think of so many things at once!  but at the same time, we have to help ourselves regulate the flow of thoughts via meditation.  well, we don’t have to, but it certainly helps focus and the ability to sleep.  in this crazy world we live in, we’re constantly bombarded and distracted.  meditation can bring you back to center…to the root of all life…yourself.  that’s all there is to life–what’s inside of each of us.

so keep practicing (if you practice at all) at letting go.  and remember to love yourself and your mind.  be thankful that you can experience those thoughts…then let them go.  there will be plenty of time to dwell on them later.

published photographer

a small german company, Bärbel Drexel, has requested to use the photo featured in this post in a calendar that they are doing. i’m really excited to have a photo published! i won’t be receiving any payment, but will get credit on the photo and a calendar. i will post more info when i receive the calendar in a couple of weeks.


waxing poetic

i stand erect
barefoot in the grass
ears listening at full volume
the rain has come
but has not fully left

rain drops fall one at a time
a drop on my shoulder
then one on my hand
another on my back
one on my nose
drop, drip, drop

a bird chirps ahead of me
air conditioners hum away
the drainage is my personal waterfall
it washes away all that is not mine

when did the crickets start?
have they been chirping all along?
a voice in the near distance
an engine turns over
click, click, roar

open my eyes to a twinkling
lightning bugs surround me
is it that time of twilight?
i’m happy to be home
i’m happy to be done.

–written during tonight’s impromptu standing meditation in honor of today’s absorption of energy

i have cleared all that does not serve me well.

, my friends.

not a bad idea.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It’s called the 401-Keg Plan !!!!!!

seeing stars

today’s apod reminded me of parts of a dream i had last night. 

the most memorable part of the dream was that i walked out of my house, and it was a dark, clear night.  no moon.  the stars shown brightly, and i could see farther into the universe than ever.  i also saw clearly the constellations that the ancients saw.  i felt as if my eyes were opened to the secrets hidden in the sky.

i’m fairly certain this dream was prompted by my recent clarity and focus due to my tai chi practice, yoga practice, and daily meditation.  perhaps i should make more time for star gazing too.  heh.

things and more things.

so i haven’t been very good at keeping up with my goals. then again, i had a realization that some of my goals were pretty ambitious. hey, how else do you know where your limits are? sometimes you have to push, and when they push back, well… that’s when you know.

i have, however, made lemonade out of a lemon (can you make lemonade with just 1 lemon? perhaps just one glass.). i hurt my lower back while doing a forward fold while in double pigeon, so i haven’t been able to do yoga for a week and a half now (should’ve quit 4 weeks ago lol). to stay sane, i have made an extra effort to meditate for at least 10-15 minutes every morning. i must say, it’s been a wonderful experience that’s very different from what i have found in yoga and tai chi.

meditation in the morning makes me more focused. i think that clearing my mind in the morning really sets me up to succeed at work because i don’t have all the bullshit running around in my head. i get so distracted at work sometimes…just by wondering thoughts and interruptions. i noticed a HUGE difference today in the way i am able to work. instead of flitting between checking e-mail constantly and fiddling with some of the applications i support, i was able to maintain a train of thought for more than 15 minutes at a time. i’m completely amazed by the focus i’ve found.

and i still get the subtle stillness that keeps me grounded during the day. i can certainly roll with some damn punches these days. it’s one setback after another at work, and i constantly fight inefficiencies. i appear to do no work because priorities keep changing, and management wants some other justification or document. my morning meditation brings me stillness to balance the weight of “opposing forces,” if you will. no amount of fighting against it will stop it. you must embrace the resistance.

breath into it.

but oh how i miss yoga. if you haven’t already, please click on the photo in this post. it’s a really cool shot of a torpedo launcher on a submarine!