Nov
1
perpetually random thoughts on the things i observe
Nov
1
Diary of an American Boy: A Poet, Athlete, Stud, and a Liar by Charlie Pratt
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
i laughed. i reminisced. i laughed some more. charlie has always had a way with words, and it’s wonderful to see him form those words into art. charlie’s love of language is constantly popping up everywhere, and he inspires you to think about the words you use.
Jan
7
i ran for the first time in a long time last night. for me, a long time = 2-3 years. the sibling rivalry classic challenge is definitely going to motivate me in terms of cardio. i’m typically motivated to workout, but cardio has always been a challenge. it’s a total workout, really, and i know it’s tough for most.
however, last night was one of the first times that i actually enjoyed running. was it my new (properly fitted) running shoes? that certainly helped. i think it was more of a mental thing though. and i think that’s a result of my yoga practice. i simply connected to the breathe and body like i do in yoga, and the time actually flew by. i ran for only about 30 minutes so as not to kill myself on my first day back. but it was great! and i’m not hurting too badly today. i figured if i can hold some of the postures in yoga for 5 breathes, i can run a couple of miles. it certainly works lol.
i think i’ll run again on thursday.
Jan
5
the brothers and i have decided to embark on a first quarter fitness competition. should make the first quarter more interesting.
Sibling Rivalry Classic
================
Goal: To get an otherwise out of shape group of Kendall siblings into a virile, vibrant, and vivacious state of health.
To win: Winner must win two of the three criteria specified below. Losers will pay $100 each to the winner. No second place. In the case of a three way tie (ie, all three win one of the three criteria), a run-off will be held in which all three criteria will be measured, executed in sequence. An unnamed third party will measure the execution of the criteria and provide the final ruling.
Begin date: 1/1/2009 12:00AM (tonight @ midnight)
Target date: 3/31/09 with criteria measurement on 4/4/09 (weekend)
Success criteria:
1) Fastest one mile run
– Run will be recorded on a treadmill for equal comparison
– Second mile of a run; this will allow a 1 mile warm up at any speed and avoid any of us hurting ourselves
2) Push-ups
– Two criteria: 1) Number of push ups in 1 minute and 2) Number of push ups to exhaustion
– Criteria #1 will be measured on 4/4
– Criteria #2 measured on 4/5
3) Crunches
– Crunches will be measured based on number of crunches performed in 2 minutes
Rules:
– No performance enhancing substances (Creatine, etc.)
– No trainers, paid or otherwise
– Vitamins are allowed and in fact encouraged
– Don’t hurt yourself; this isn’t meant to push limits, only to test our respective abilities in physical fitness
Jun
18
Mar
16
hello,
origin: madethelflintz0r.
…took brain for a car ride to run errands.
…changed my oil.
…rotated my tires.
…changed my spark plugs.
…ran brain around while i rode my bike (she got the hang of it after a couple of times up and down our street).
…enjoyed the cool breeze.
…basked in the sunshine.
…bought my boyfriend & roommate lunch.
…ate lunch out on the deck.
…watched golfers go by.
…cleaned out some branches (prepping for our fence…hopefully, i did enough).
…threw away some dead plants (oops! they don’t all make it at my house…some of them were annuals anyway).
…slept in.
…played on the internet.
…tried to get ahold of my friend, ben. what?!
…played on facebook.
…played on flickr.
…watched tv.
…ate unhealthy food (taco bell & bojangles…YUM!).
…hung pictures in the rest of the house (it only took us 3 yrs lol).
i’m just really enjoying today. it’s awesome outside, and i think i might trip back out there to see what other fun stuff i can find to do.
Mar
13
after being on vacation all last week, it was great to come home to our puppy, brain. while we missed her, we were glad to get away and not have to manage the dog all the time. being a puppy, she still requires a good bit of training and supervision (she’s very nosy).
we were back no more than 2 or 3 days before we had to take her to the vet to get her fixed. it’s the first overnight visit to the vet of her life, and she didn’t seem to miss a beat. when i left her at the vet, she didn’t even notice i wasn’t going with her. lol @ the silly dog.
that evening, i was constantly hearing her around the house…getting her nose into stuff, whining, scratching, drinking, whatever. it was all completely in my head. and i found that i missed having her around the house. not having her on vacation was different. not having her around the house was flat out strange. i was constantly looking under my feet while sitting on the couch. i waited for her to follow me into the kitchen whenever i got up. i fully expected her to bring me one (or all) of her toys, begging me to play with her.
i felt completely ridiculous. i am so used to her presence in the house that i merely expect it now. this longing to “have my baby around” was foreign, but fairly strong considering “it’s just a dog.”
i started wondering if this is what parents go through when their children leave for a period (or forever!). i never thought owning a dog would relate so much to being a parent. while it’s not the same at all, there are definitely some similarities (training, supervision, exercise, discipline, affection, etc.). and brain has a way of making me fully aware that i’m not ready to be a parent at all!
i feel like i got a glimpse of a taste of a glimmer (e.g. pretty small sampling) of what it’s like to be a parent.
Jan
25
so yesterday’s discovery was the realization that one shouldn’t fight the monkey mind, but embrace it–love it, even. so often in the mindful practices, teachers try to explain to let your thoughts go. i have never fully grasped what they were saying until last night. when i first started meditating, i tried and tried to quiet my mind. the more i tried, the more monkeying my mind did. what i didn’t get was the letting go part.
the best way i can describe it is this. do not fight the monkey mind. when random thoughts enter your mind, acknowledge them. then let it go. if you practice and practice this, eventually, it will click. one of the things that helps, though, is loving those random thoughts and your mind. you cannot be down on yourself or your mind for having so many thoughts. it’s a wonderful thing to be able to think of so many things at once! but at the same time, we have to help ourselves regulate the flow of thoughts via meditation. well, we don’t have to, but it certainly helps focus and the ability to sleep. in this crazy world we live in, we’re constantly bombarded and distracted. meditation can bring you back to center…to the root of all life…yourself. that’s all there is to life–what’s inside of each of us.
so keep practicing (if you practice at all) at letting go. and remember to love yourself and your mind. be thankful that you can experience those thoughts…then let them go. there will be plenty of time to dwell on them later.
Aug
6
prickly pear bloom,
origin: madethelflintz0r.
a small german company, Bärbel Drexel, has requested to use the photo featured in this post in a calendar that they are doing. i’m really excited to have a photo published! i won’t be receiving any payment, but will get credit on the photo and a calendar. i will post more info when i receive the calendar in a couple of weeks.
w00t!
Jul
9
i stand erect
barefoot in the grass
ears listening at full volume
the rain has come
but has not fully left
rain drops fall one at a time
a drop on my shoulder
then one on my hand
another on my back
one on my nose
drop, drip, drop
a bird chirps ahead of me
air conditioners hum away
the drainage is my personal waterfall
it washes away all that is not mine
when did the crickets start?
have they been chirping all along?
a voice in the near distance
an engine turns over
click, click, roar
open my eyes to a twinkling
lightning bugs surround me
is it that time of twilight?
i’m happy to be home
i’m happy to be done.
–written during tonight’s impromptu standing meditation in honor of today’s absorption of energy
i have cleared all that does not serve me well.
namaste, my friends.
Jun
22
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It’s called the 401-Keg Plan !!!!!!
Apr
16
posting the pictures from my DC trip made me crave korean food. i wish i knew of a place near my house to get good korean.
Mar
9
today’s apod reminded me of parts of a dream i had last night.
the most memorable part of the dream was that i walked out of my house, and it was a dark, clear night. no moon. the stars shown brightly, and i could see farther into the universe than ever. i also saw clearly the constellations that the ancients saw. i felt as if my eyes were opened to the secrets hidden in the sky.
i’m fairly certain this dream was prompted by my recent clarity and focus due to my tai chi practice, yoga practice, and daily meditation. perhaps i should make more time for star gazing too. heh.
Feb
6
so i haven’t been very good at keeping up with my goals. then again, i had a realization that some of my goals were pretty ambitious. hey, how else do you know where your limits are? sometimes you have to push, and when they push back, well… that’s when you know.
i have, however, made lemonade out of a lemon (can you make lemonade with just 1 lemon? perhaps just one glass.). i hurt my lower back while doing a forward fold while in double pigeon, so i haven’t been able to do yoga for a week and a half now (should’ve quit 4 weeks ago lol). to stay sane, i have made an extra effort to meditate for at least 10-15 minutes every morning. i must say, it’s been a wonderful experience that’s very different from what i have found in yoga and tai chi.
meditation in the morning makes me more focused. i think that clearing my mind in the morning really sets me up to succeed at work because i don’t have all the bullshit running around in my head. i get so distracted at work sometimes…just by wondering thoughts and interruptions. i noticed a HUGE difference today in the way i am able to work. instead of flitting between checking e-mail constantly and fiddling with some of the applications i support, i was able to maintain a train of thought for more than 15 minutes at a time. i’m completely amazed by the focus i’ve found.
and i still get the subtle stillness that keeps me grounded during the day. i can certainly roll with some damn punches these days. it’s one setback after another at work, and i constantly fight inefficiencies. i appear to do no work because priorities keep changing, and management wants some other justification or document. my morning meditation brings me stillness to balance the weight of “opposing forces,” if you will. no amount of fighting against it will stop it. you must embrace the resistance.
breath into it.
but oh how i miss yoga. if you haven’t already, please click on the photo in this post. it’s a really cool shot of a torpedo launcher on a submarine!
Jan
12
i don’t typically like talking about the war in iraq for various reasons, but i have a special place in my heart for the people who serve our country (and other people’s countries lol).
i wish we could focus more on stories like the one of the marine who saved the lives of 2 of his brothers. the marines are a family, and my brother being a marine makes them my family too. i have heard this from every marine i’ve ever met. i’m very proud of our marines. i think that many of the marines have been put on trial recently have been placed in extreme circumstances (uh…it is a war) and have had to make decisions that, i’m sure, they now regret.
to all the marines and other service members out there, thanks.
Jan
10
i was driving to my friend, lily’s, house tonight, and “everybody wants to rule the world” by tears for fears came on. i just had to grin. it reminded me of some of the crushes i had in middle school, and i thought it’d be a laugh to post some before/after pics to see what my taste was like (awful, i’m warning you).
where does tears for fears fit in? i use to think Roland Orzabal (pictured left) was so cute. there was something about the way he looked in the video for “shout” that seemed to peak my interest. (sidenote: the part of the video where they’re drumming the floor is awesome lol!!!) i suppose it was the passion in the music. and i was so distracted by it, i didn’t really care what the guy looked like, but he sounded cool and had a lot of passion in his music. to this day, i still enjoy 2 of the songs where i felt some strong emotion in the music. lololol.
tears for fears wasn’t the only band where i had an oddly-place crush. the song, “mr. jones” was released in 1994 by the counting crows, and it was a big hit. if you listened to the radio at all around that time, you probably heard the song 5 times an hour. all of my friends and i could quote it word-for-(sometimes-unintelligible)-word all the way through with all the little nuances. and wouldn’t you know it, i thought adam duritz was really cute in that music video (what can i say…i’m part of the mtv generation when they played music videos!). what was i thinking?! well, it’s a little more believable when you look at him then vs. now (is that gray in his goatee?). i saw them recently with the goo goo dolls, and they weren’t bad. i was pretty drunk though. heh.
and i have one last memorable crush to blog on. this is probably one of the biggest crushes i ever had on an unattainable guy: jonathan brandis. i first really took notice of jonathan in the tv series seaquest dsv, where he played the handsome young genius. but he had a solid career at that point (Who’s the Boss, Murder She Wrote, Kate and Allie, among other tv shows and movies that i watched around this time). yeah. jonathan was definitely the boy i swooned over when bop, tiger bop, and all the other teenie bop magazines were hot stuff. i was surprised when i started doing research on this brief topic when i found that he died in Nov. 2003 from injuries sustained during a suicide attempt (wikipedia). aww, fraunies. he was only 27. that being said, can you believe i coveted my copy of this magazine spread? wow. so i was a sucker for guys who appeared to have fun and be somewhat intelligent (lucas wolenczak). rip dude.
so that’s my summary of crushes that were distinctly memorable. hope you were mildly entertained. i put about an hour and a half into this post, but it was fun (and i l00rned something!).
Jan
9
i’ve been thinking a lot about what this year will hold. i’m really excited because so much happened last year, and i accomplished a lot of goals (small and large). in anticipation, i have decided to set some new goals.
for one, i’m endeavoring to be more connected. i mean that in the most abstract sense. i want my body to be connected with itself–to feel that my feet are truly connected to my hands and that all my appendages are connected to my head. this sounds silly when i say it literally like that, but that was what i had in mind when i set that intention for myself this year. i think it really will make me more connected to people around me–my community.
next, i intend to get back into a regular, 3-4 times a week, yoga schedule. i really benefited from this style of workout regimen last summer/fall, and i let the holidays take me away from that. now it’s back to it, and i want it to be that way all year. i have a couple of goals within my yoga practice, including holding supta kurmasana for 5 breathes (i can hold it, kinda’, for 1 or 2 on good days) on a regular basis, and staying in tripod headstand (or regular headstand) for 10 breathes among others.
third, i’d like to make efforts to blog more at home. often times, i blog when i’m at work, and not only is that bad for work, but it’s bad for blogging. i can put more effort.
and i will add a fourth item to my list of goals just to keep ambitious. i’d like to get back into some sort of art. whether it’s singing, painting, or just drawing in sketchbooks, i need/want to get back to other forms of (non-electronic) expression. have no fear…i will share all of my non-electronic endeavors electronically (they just may not start out that way!).
that is all for now. i wish i had more to say, but ashtanga cleared my mind this evening. that’s why i go.
Jan
8
so the pictures are up from the pulled-together-at-the-last-minute new year’s eve classic III at my house. thanks, cannie! and thanks to all those peeps that made this party one of the best parties i’ve thrown in a long time.
so this is the first post of the new year. i’ve been crafting it in my head for about a week, and it’s finally time to put it out here. 2006 was definitely a landmark year for me. i grew as a person more consciously this year, and am able to look back and am happy with the results. here’s a quick recap.
jan – started the year off by spending a week in amsterdam with some close friends (aka the robots). i bought a senseo, which i’ve used almost everyday since i bought it. i also met a co-worker, lily, who would, throughout the year, become an unexpected influence in my life.

jan-feb – spent the first 2 months finishing my senior project, despite having walked in dec. ’05. my diploma says i graduated then, and i’m grateful they let us keep our grad date despite being a little late. getting my bachelor’s degree been a lifelong goal. hooray!
march-april – somewhat uneventful. spent time really getting into my projects at work. now that i had finished school, i was able to better focus on work. i made time to party and enjoy my new-found free time.
may – i finally went to yoga with my co-worker, lily. it had been a goal for a couple of years to get into a yoga class. i had even joined the YMCA in effort to do it, but i didn’t use my membership even once. thanks for helping to show the way, lily! it’s a lot less intimidating if you have someone to show you the ropes.
june – this month is one that will live in infamy in my mind. a series of events during june ’06 led up to a major turning point in my life. the details are not important anymore, nor are the stories (though they are some entertaining stories). after gallivanting all over the country (savannah, las vegas, chicago), i finally realized what “calm the fuck down” really means, and i intend to completely change some perspectives i had.
july-sept – spent the next several months going to yoga 3 times a week, tai chi 2 times a week, and in general getting my mind together. i feel better during this period than i have ever felt (not exaggerating as much as you might think). i also went to boston for the first time ever (for training). it’s an amazing city! josh, a former roommate and good friend, got married at the beginning of sept, and we threw a successful labor day classic II.
oct – i had an awesome birthdayweek. i got free lunch most of the week, and partied (not too hard) most of the week in the evenings (in between yoga practices lol). and to cap it all off, i went to a strip club for the first time ever. hehe. it was truly a fun time. i also wen to chicago for a week with a co-worker for training. i was truly amazed by all that chi-town had to offer. halloween was also more fun this year than ever (thanks, lily!).
nov-dec – wow. holidays were upon us. spent thanksgiving in st. augustine with charlie’s family (that was an exercise in sneaking out!), and december was filled with all the holiday fun as usual.
overall — throughout the year, i also cultivated my gardening skills by maintaining a variety of potted plants. i look forward to a great growing season throughout 2007!
what’s in store for 2007? check for the next post to find out.
Nov
15
been thinking a lot about relationships lately. not just romantic ones, but all kinds…and all the kinds i’ve had. i’ve met a lot of new people lately, and have formed some new friendships. it’s very positive, but i can’t help but look back for a moment. i’m trying to make it a brief moment because i think you should remain present. but you can learn from the past. i think that’s what i’m hoping to do. i’ve learned quite a bit this year already, and it’s only the beginning.
i’m certainly at a transition in my life. graduating college has been a big change. i’ve had a lot more time to do what i want (or what i thought i wanted lol), which is cool. so i’ve been exploring all the things you can do with spare time. hahah. got a wow character to 60, began practicing yoga and tai chi, read my new favorite book, the fountainhead, and have been really enjoying work. it’s been interesting trying to figure out what satisfies me lol.
and then i remember a phrase a guide once said trying to make my situation clear: “i am becoming.” it rings so true. be present. just be.
Nov
10
it was a good feeling on wednesday to know that i was invited to 2 parties and can’t attend because i’m hosting my own.
heh.
~~~
sometimes, i get caught up in worrying about what other people think. lol @ sometimes. it’s actually a lot more times than i’d like to admit. this morning, as i awoke (in that time where you’re half-awake/half-asleep), i realized that i need recognize what i have in front of me and appreciate it for what it is. i’m very happy in my life. i have a wonderful, dedicated man, great friends, a gorgeous house, and a good job that i enjoy for the most part. it’s all about being present.
~~~
Lyndyloo21 has some interesting pics.
~~~
it’s a gorgeous, sunny, dry/clear, 75 degree day in my city today. i love where i live.
Oct
25
last night when i got home from tai chi, i felt awesome. i couldn’t believe it. it was the same feeling i get after a good yoga practice–energized and in a GREAT mood. i think i’m still feeling the effects of the great workout last night. i think the reason for this feeling is 2-fold: 1. we did some shao-lin last night and 2. i’m getting to the point with “push the mountain” (can’t find a good link that explains this, but this qigong link is a start) where it’s meditative, which makes the whole thing come together for me.
wow. love it. didn’t think i would, but now i do. it finally clicked for me last night. and it only took 6 weeks lol.
on a completely different note, lore sjoberg has an entertaining article on myspace.
Oct
5
my webhost has increased my bandwidth and storage space again. this is what i now get:
Your Account Provides:
424480 MB Disk (Grows 2000 MB / week)
Used: 2375 MB (0.6% – Overage $.10/MB)
4832 GB BW per Cycle (Grows 32 GB / week)
Used this Cycle: 0.0 GB (0.0% – Overage: $0.5/GB)
3 Callbacks per month.
i can’t say enough good things about dreamhost!! they have been an awesome webhost! uptimes are good. bandwidth and storage is SUPER-cheap. support is rockstar, and the features are plentiful. w00t!
Oct
2
from my boyfriend:
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
If your teacher was dead
I’d be together with you
how romantic lol!
Sep
21
the following was written during my sushi dinner tonight after an afternoon of reading more of the wisdom of insecurity. DISCLAIMER: this book is not for everyone. if you have a fairly negative outlook on life or are not ready to be open-minded about your religion/philosophy, you should NOT read this book yet.
~~~
7:39pm EDT 9/21/06 Shilla Korean & Japanese Restaurant (down the street from MIT)
sweet nectar of the gods
Originally uploaded by madethelflintz0r.
thinking that i yearn for days
that did not come
thinking that i had done the other
but shunning that
thinking of a time not lost
caught in yesterday
but not right now.
presence is reality
past, future don’t exist
only a fleeting memory
a motionless picture
of a rapidly moving moment
taken out of context.
you think you know
but stop thinking and know!
+++
does it matter?
does it exist?
does it exist seperately?
does it exist seperately from me?
the question is not “what is the meaning,” but “what is the existence.”
Sep
17
i have posted the pics i took a weekend or two ago when we went to topsail island, nc for josh and brandi’s wedding. josh is one my best friends, and used to be a roommate. now he’s hitched, and should be back from his honeymoon by now. congrats! and may they have a long and happy life together!!
edit 9/21/06: the link above was wrong, but has since been corrected. my apologies.
Sep
17
i had such a beautiful saturday yesterday!!
first, i went to ashtanga at 9am. i thought i might not be so glad i did it, considering i didn’t get to sleep in. but what i found was that i woke up sans alarm at 8am (since i’m used to getting up a little earlier anyway). so i rolled outta’ bed, threw on workout clothes, brushed my teeth and headed out the door. holy crap what an awesome practice it was! i felt GREAT afterwards.
next, i came home, and spent some quality time with my man before he had to leave for work.
i then met my friend, jill, for beauty supply shopping and lunch. jill was one of the most influential people (still is) in my life during some difficult times, and i cherish her. we worked together several years ago, but have managed to keep in touch. she’s a beautiful person, and one that i look up to. i wanna be like her when i grow up.
i left jill’s house around 3:30 or so, and called my friend lily ’cause we had planned to hang out in the afternoon/evening. did a little shopping, and picked up a cute little fountain that i’ll probably take into work for our office (lily and i share an office at work, but have become friends as well). so then i headed to lily’s part of town. ended up joining her and her friend for beers at a british pub. then went back to her house and drank some more. got tore up, watched willy wonka and the chocolate factory (the OG, not the johnny depp shit), and ate pizza.
i had so much fun! i had a grin on my face throughout the entire day.
to all my teachers throughout the day, namaste!